Basic Training -- What's Love Got to Do With It

As is my custom, God is good all the time. God is good. And I don't say that as a cliche, right, because we all go through hard times and sometimes the message or the passage is a little hard. But one thing that we've got to continue to understand is that regardless of what we're going through, God is still good.

In 1984, Anna Mae Bullock, better known as Tina Turner, had her first number one hit called "What's Love Got to Do With It." This song received numerous awards and is her first number one hit, but what was interesting is that before this, she was in a group with her husband, Ike and Tina Turner, and they were a duo for about sixteen years. This particular song, she did not write it. It was actually offered to a number of different people, but some people just didn't like the lyrics. And some people thought it wasn't right for a female to sing this song. But it wasn't until this song that Tina Turner actually became a superstar.

Well, listen to the lyrics. I'm not going to sing it—I'm going to save you all the pain. But she sings: "What's love got to do with it but a second hand emotion? What's love got to do with it when your heart is going to break?"

She didn't write that, but when she did sing it, she sang it like nobody else could. And the reason she could sing it like that was because she was abused in her relationship with her husband, Ike, for over sixteen years. So she's saying, if love is about being abused, then I don't want nothing to do with love. And some of us had a dysfunctional love growing up, perhaps with someone you love or someone you trusted. So you say, what's love got to do with it?

But if you ask John this morning, what's love got to do with it? He would say, everything. So today, we're going to look at three types of love. There's three types of love I want you all to pay attention to. One is selfish love. The other is assurance of God's love and lastly, sacrificial love.

Let's pray. Lord, I want to thank you for all that you have done, all that you continue to do, and Lord, I pray today that we just learn how to love each other better and grow in our love for you. In Jesus name, amen.

Alright, so as is custom, let's read First John 3:11 to 24. There is Genesis at the bottom of that. We're not going to read that but we will refer back to that passage. So, on the count of three, let's begin reading First John 3:11 through 24. One, two, and three. Amen.

The Message of Love

The first thing John points out is that this message he's presenting to his congregation or to the churches is that this is nothing new. In fact, the message of love is one of John's constant themes throughout the gospel, throughout his letters. As a matter of fact, he mentions love over 162 times. It's as if John is saying, if you don't remember nothing else, remember this: love.

In fact, one of the most well-known verses is John 3:16:

For God so loved the world that he gave his Son so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. — John 3:16

From eternity past, out of love, God sent Christ to redeem us, to set us free from sin, and to bring us into fellowship with him. It is because of this, John says, that we should love one another. But sometimes, instead of rejoicing in God's love for us and others, we actually turn against others and get jealous, envious, critical of others, pointing fingers. We start to develop more of this selfish type of love.

I think of selfish love as a one-way street. It's an all-about-me attitude. I don't care about anything except for my well-being. And if you make me feel differently, I might respond physically, emotionally, or verbally.

Verse 12 says this:

We should not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother Abel. — 1 John 3:12

Out of all the stories, all the stories of brotherly dysfunction in the Bible, you have to ask a question: why would John use Cain and Abel? He says, Don't be like Cain. I don't know about you all, but growing up, one of the constant things my parents used to tell me, and I use it on my own kids, is don't be like so and so. Don't be like your cousin across the street or don't be like your friends at school. And the reason why we do this is because we see a bad example, and we want to highlight that and make sure our kids, even ourselves, understand that we don't want them to be like that.

Here's the thing: when we hear "don't be like," we're kind of detached from the emotions from that. John's audience automatically knew what he meant when he said, don't be like Cain. But let me illustrate in a modern way, and I want to be sensitive to this. Saying, "Don't be like Cain," in our context, is similar to us saying, "Don't be like Hitler. Don't be like Idi Amin. Don't be like Joseph Stalin or don't be like Jeffrey Dahmer."

And when you hear these names, you think of pure evil. And that shock that you feel when I say those names is the same shock that John's audience heard.

See, these people that I named, they value their own life and identity more than any other. And if I had a continuum aligned, some of us will line up to the extreme and to the moderate. But when John says this, he's pointing at something serious. For John to say, "don't be like Cain," this will cause John's audience and listeners and us as a church to examine ourselves.

John recognized that somewhere deep inside of the Christian walk and ours as fallen human beings, we have the tendency and capacity to be like Cain. How many times have you begun a conversation and you said, "Promise me you won't act like this" or "Promise me that when I say this to you, you won't respond out of character"? It's because even though we are Christians and however loving and kind we are, we have the capacity to act out of character.

He says, "Don't be like Cain who is of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his deeds were evil and his brother's were righteous."

To get a full glimpse of Cain, let's briefly look at Genesis 4.

Now Abel was a keeper of sheep and Cain, a worker of the ground. In the course of time, Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering, he had no regard. So Cain was very angry and his face fell. — Genesis 4

When you read this, the first question that pops to mind is: Why would God accept Abel's offering and not Cain's? Some would say that it's because of the type of offering—Cain's was from the grain, the produce of the land, and Abel's was the blood sacrifice. But you have to ask the question: What is the main purpose of this passage?

I would argue that part of it is this: God accepted both grain and animal offerings, and the law of sacrifice wasn't established until Moses was born. So the question is, what is John pointing out in this passage? Remember, John says, "Don't be like Cain." And in the passage we just read, Cain displayed three characteristics of selfish love.

Three Characteristics of Selfish Love

One, selfish people get angry because they view someone else's recognition as a failure of their own. When Cain's sacrifice was not accepted, he viewed it as a personal failure. The text says, "Cain was angry and his face fell." I did all this hard work and they got the promotion. God, I read the Bible, pay tithes and offerings, attend community groups, serve, and Joe Schmo gets to become a deacon. Nancy gets to become a commissioned woman. Rather than rejoicing in what God is doing in their own life, they become angry because it makes them feel like a failure.

Number two, selfish people are not worried about anyone else but themselves. Can you imagine the pain that Cain and Abel's parents felt when they found out their son killed their other son? Cain was not worried about how they would feel. Cain was not worried about how God would feel. God even said, "I hear his blood crying from the ground." God cares.

Number three, selfish love people only worry about themselves. Shortly after, God gave judgment to Cain. The first thing Cain says is, "Woe is me. Now somebody's going to want to kill me, Lord." But the Lord's grace said to Cain, "That shall not be. I will put a mark on you." Again, selfish people only worry about themselves.

What's interesting about this—and don't miss this—the Bible says Cain was of the evil one. He's pointing a linkage between the devil and Cain as if Cain was heavily influenced by the devil. Well, we kind of question: Is Cain without fault because of the devil's influence? No, because God met with Cain and cautioned him. He said, "Sin is crouching at the door," but Cain ignored God and went through with what he wanted to do. Because obviously, Cain was only worried about protecting his image, his self-love.

Now hear me out: I'm not saying don't love yourself. But it becomes dangerous when you love yourself so much that you would hurt somebody physically or verbally to protect your image. That's when it becomes too much.

And we could point fingers at Cain and say, "Man, if I would've heard God's voice, I would've stopped in my tracks." But let me ask you this: How many times have you done something that you knew was wrong and you went through anyway? And we have something greater than Cain. We have the Holy Spirit within us.

But here's a bigger question: How can two brothers who both had a relationship with God have two different outcomes? Two different responses from God's love? Because one rested in the assurance of God's love.

By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure hearts before him. For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God and whatever we ask, we receive from him. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God and God in him and by this we know that he abides in us by the spirit whom he has given us. — 1 John 3:19-24

John understood that sometimes we can be like Cain. Our own hearts will convince us that we haven't done enough for God. Or we feel like a failure when we compare ourselves to other Christians or people outside of Christ and say, "Man, am I doing enough as a Christian?" I feel like I hear this all the time: "What else do I gotta do? I feel like my life is not allowing me to serve God as other people do." And sometimes if we sit in this type of thing, we become bitter. We have anger, fear, anxiety. But the only way to fight against these feelings is resting in the assurance of God's love.

Again, a reference to Cain: when he was having this feeling of anger and failure, God said to Cain,

"Why are you angry and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door and its desire is contrary to you. But you must rule over it."

I wish I had time to unpack the desire of sin and how it's contrary to Cain, but it was never about the offering. It's like God is saying to Cain, "Cain, it was not about this. It was about the motivation behind it."

And how do we know this? Hebrews 11:4 says this:

By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, through which he was commended as righteous, God commending him by accepting his gifts. — Hebrews 11:4

Cain's heart condemned him. That's why John says, "Whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart and he knows everything."

Brothers and sisters, I want to challenge you all to continue to rest in the assurance of God's love. We don't have to earn God's love. God's love is not contingent on what we do or what we do not do. We are fully loved by God and the evidence of this is the Holy Spirit that he has given us.

Not earning love is so countercultural because we are ingrained to earn love, to earn friendship. You know, as good looking as my wife is, I pursued her, but if she didn't pursue me back, we would have had a problem. But here's the thing: when God, when we were enemies of God, when we were still in sin, God haters, God died for us. Brothers and sisters, if that is not enough for you to complete the rest and the confidence that God loves you, there's nothing else that God could give.

Paul says in Romans 8:

I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. — Romans 8:38-39

God loves you more than you can imagine. You don't have to be like Cain. And I love what Tim Keller says. He says, "God sees us as we are, loves us as we are, accepts us as we are, but by his grace, he does not leave us where we are."

It's because of God's love for us that John says, "Whatever we ask, we will receive it." It may not be money for some of us, but if it is, ask him. For some of us it might be comfort, peace, wisdom—ask him. And I don't agree with a lot of what the prosperity preachers' theology is, but what I do agree with is that God is a provider. Think about it. If God gives his son to be sacrificed for me and you, is there anything else that he will withhold? I mean, just think of it. If I sacrifice one of my kids—and I won't. But if I sacrifice my own kids on your behalf so you don't have to bear the penalty of sin, is there anything else that I withhold from you? I gave you all that I have. Ask God for whatever it is.

CTK, are you confident in God's love for you? Jesus said, "Look at the birds of the air. Your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren't you of more value? If God makes the lilies beautiful and clothes the grass of the field, don't you think he would clothe you with peace, comfort, joy, and love?" He loves you more than you could ever know.

Living Out God's Love

And it's because of this assurance of God's love that we can have a sacrificial love.

By this we know love, that he lay down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers and sisters. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. — 1 John 3:16-18

John says the reason we lay down our own lives for our brothers and sisters is because Christ lays down his life for us. Again, countercultural. We live in a society where it's all about me.

Almost every sales commercial ends with, "You deserve this. You deserve that new car. You deserve to take a break and be on vacation. You deserve to be rich. You deserve to be who you want to be." Why? Because it's my life. Anything I want, I deserve it. But the gospel message is that we don't deserve it.

I mean, think about your own life. All the stuff that you have done, all the stuff that you have been through, even all the stuff that you are continuing to do—do you deserve to be the bride of Christ? Would you still be married or have that friendship if you only call them or talk to them every once in a while? Prayer? What about if you constantly cheat on that person? Worship of idols. Despite what we do, God still loves us, and that's something that none of us deserve.

But here's the thing. One of the hardest things for me to do as the director of outreach or pastor of outreach is trying to convince people that God calls us to seek justice, that God calls us to die for the sake of the other, that God calls us to put politics aside and see people as they are—human.

I can imagine the uproar when Zacchaeus, the tax collector, when Jesus approached him. Don't you think there was a political division? Don't you think that people thought, "How could Jesus be friends with this enemy of the state, the enemy of the Jews? Isn't he a traitor of God's people?" No. Jesus saw the Imago Dei in Zacchaeus and pursued him. He didn't see the leopard to be kept outside of the community. No, Jesus saw the Imago Dei. And Jesus did not see the women in that community as second-class citizens. He saw them as the Imago Dei.

And here's the better news. When the Father sees us, he does not see us as failures. He sees us as his little children. So friends, when you see your brother or sister struggling, don't see their failure, don't see their addiction, don't see none of that. See them as your brothers and sisters in Christ in need of help.

If you have this world's goods and withhold it, how does God's love abide in him? — 1 John 3

One of the things I love about being a parent or being around kids is seeing my own Christian walk through them. What I mean by that is, if you just sit down and observe kids, you can see how kids represent us as Christians. One, kids have trust in us, right? Parents. Two, kids have no fear. They will do anything. "Dad, can I do this?" Yes, because they know that I got them. Dependent kids are dependent on their parents. But kids also show the bad side of us. The difference is they don't hide it. We tend to hide our bad stuff.

And if you all have kids or have been around kids, you guys will understand what I'm about to say. One of the hardest things to do as a parent is to convince your kids to share. And you know what I say to battle with my kids about that? I say, "You all are brothers and sisters. When me and your mom are gone, you guys should depend on each other."

Friends, don't we have a stronger bond than the blood of brothers and sisters? We are bonded by the blood of Christ. But yet, we still turn our backs when our brothers and sisters are in need of help.

The way that you love others will turn people against you. Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed out of death into life. Why? Because we love the brothers. — 1 John 3

John says, the evidence of Christ in your life is the way that you love your brothers and sisters.

Martin Luther King Jr. and the Church's Failure

One of the great theologians that I highly admire is Martin Luther King Jr. And on June 12, 1963, he was arrested in Birmingham, Alabama for doing a peaceful protest. What hurt him the most was not the fact that he was arrested. He was hurt because of the response of the church in regards to segregation. The churches in the South actually fought to keep segregation alive.

And while Martin Luther King was in jail, he got a letter from clergy around Birmingham saying, "We don't want you here. You're causing too much of a ruckus." In response to that letter, Doctor King wrote one back. And when you read that letter, I challenge you all to read that letter from Birmingham Jail. When you read that letter, you could feel the pain that Martin Luther King is going through. Just think of it. You are sitting in jail and your brothers and sisters in Christ are condemning you because of the peaceful protest that you are doing for the love of others.

The letter is amazing, but listen to part of it. He says this:

I must honestly reiterate that I have been disappointed with the church. I do not say that as one of those negative critics who can always find something wrong with the church. I say it as a minister of the gospel who loves the church, who is nurtured in its bosom, and who has been sustained by its spiritual blessings, and who will remain true to it as long as the cord of life shall lengthen. — Martin Luther King Jr., Letter from Birmingham Jail

But listen to this: the judgment of God's people is upon the church as never before. If the church of today does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authentic ring, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century.

He says, "I meet young people every day whose disappointment with the church has risen to outright disgust." This letter was written over fifty-eight years ago, but it still rings true today. Churches are complaining because most of the youth are rebelling against the church. It's because they see the way that we love one another. They see the way that we love outsiders of the church.

Friends, we need to be resting in the assurance of God's love. And if you understand that correctly, you will live a life of sacrificial love, and Jesus calls us to do that.

Listen to this, and then I'll close:

A new commandment I give to you: that you love one another just as I have loved you. You also are to love one another. By this, all people will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. — John 13:34-35

So I wanna ask you this: What does love have to do with it? Are you gonna continue in selfish love? Or are you gonna rest in the assurance of God's love, which was displayed for you on the cross of Christ? And because of that assurance of God's love, are you gonna live a life of sacrificial love—not only for yourselves, not only for your community, but for us as a church?

Let's pray.

Lord, I wanna thank you for all that you have done, all that you continue to do. And Lord, I wanna thank you for the love that you continue to show us, Lord God, even when we don't deserve it.

Lord, I'm gonna pray for freedom. I pray that we understand that even you have given your Son, Lord God—there's nothing else that you withhold from us. But Lord, right now, some of us need peace. We're going through hard times. Some of us need wisdom, Lord God. There are some decisions right now that we have to make. Some of us, Lord God, are just in pain.

But Lord, I pray that you continue to cover us just like you clothe the grass in the fields, Lord God, and may we rest in the finished work of Christ and be fully confident in the love that you have given us. In Jesus' name, amen.