Co-Laborers; Co-Heirs: A Better Way

Morning, I want to do something a little bit unusual and just make a comment about last week in our worship. I want to thank you for your kind reception of our guest speaker, Sam Andriatis, a friend of mine, and for welcoming him in the way that you did. I was really grateful for the material Friday and Saturday at our gender forum. But I was troubled personally by the sermon last Sunday and I have taken it down from our website and podcast after a conversation with our leadership. I wanted to explain why I would do that.

This is kind of unusual. I've done this before. But there were a couple of things last week that didn't communicate well, and I've actually talked to Sam about these things. One was an illustration where he identified himself as an associate pastor with understanding in some way the experience of women. It was very well intentioned but fell flat, and I had a hard time. I knew something was off when I had a hard time last week taking us from the sermon to the table. I just felt this heaviness in the room.

I sense that sometimes when we gather there's a heaviness about some of the things we talk about, and I wanted more of Jesus to be the hope as we came out of that. I didn't do this because I think I'm the only person who can preach in our church, but because it's my role to guard and guide the teaching of our church, what comes out of this pulpit. I just felt like last week we lost the thread of what we were trying to do in this series. When gender roles become the goal, we've lost what we're trying to accomplish.

My goal in doing this entire series, our goal as a leadership, is that gender is a gift. Gender is a gift for gospel partnership. Men and women serving together for the glory of God. That's what we're trying to look toward, and that's my heart. That's the heart of the leadership of our church. Nothing personal, and I hope that doesn't disturb you, but if you'd like to talk to me after the service, I'd be happy to hear from you.

We're going to turn now to God's word and pick up from Philippians 2 and Mark chapter 10. We're going to read God's word aloud together. If you would find that in your bulletin or on the screen and join your voices together—Philippians 2:1-13 and then Mark chapter 10.

Therefore, if there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves, which is also in Christ Jesus, who, as he was already existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself by taking the form of a bondservant and being born in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, death on the cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus, every knee will bow of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father. So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is at work in you, both to desire and to work for His own pleasure. — Philippians 2:1-13

Calling them to Himself, Jesus said to them, "You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles domineer over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it is not this way among you. Rather, whoever wants to become prominent among you shall be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many." — Mark 10

This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.

You remember the TV show Malcolm in the Middle? It was about a dysfunctional family. It ran from 2000 to 2007 and Brian Cranston starred in it before he did Breaking Bad. What I want to highlight for us is not so much the show as the theme song. Do you remember the theme song from Malcolm in the Middle? It goes, "You're not the boss of me now." That was the line.

Like that's, and besides being the theme song for Malcolm in the Middle, I think that's sort of the intramural conversation that's going on in the church around gender. I think this is something we're talking about a lot right now, not just about gender, but about power in general. The conversations around power and the church are something that's hotly discussed right now—who gets to make the call, who's in charge, who is the authority?

And in particular, I want to highlight this debate between two main groups in the evangelical church. Both groups of people who love Jesus and love His church and love His word, and yet debate over these things. One is called complementarian and one is called egalitarian.

Both of them agree on things related to and that are highlighted in the creation story that we looked at the first week. Egalitarians rightly emphasize men and women equally image bearers—not one partial and one full, but both full image bearers. One plus one equals three, you could say. Therefore, they conclude both men and women should have equal opportunities for leadership and authority in the home and in the church.

Complementarians, right? We emphasize that men and women are not interchangeable parts, that we're made differently and that that's good—asymmetrical even as we're equal—and that those inform some of the philosophy behind the gendered roles with regard, particularly for leadership in home and church.

So this debate though gets distilled down to this really simple question that I can summarize again from Malcolm in the Middle: you're not the boss of me now, right? Who's in charge and why?

And I'm not going to get into that discussion today because I think both groups actually miss the point. When Christians start debating power, here's my thesis for today: we've already lost. We've already missed it. We've completely missed what Jesus has for us. When goals focus on gender roles, we've lost it.

And here's my hope for today: my hope is not to convince you to be an egalitarian or a complementarian, but if you're a complementarian that you would leave this sermon being a better complementarian. If you're an egalitarian, you would leave this sermon being a better egalitarian. That you'd actually be able to understand more fully: How does Jesus view power and authority? How does he handle this? And why are we looking at this? Because we all know gender is a minefield for power dynamics. It's really important we talk about this.

Power in Our Culture

So, let me jump in this way. Power is a super important word in our culture right now. You hear this in all kinds of our language and institutions and organizations and media. Here's some of the language we use: power politics, balance of power, power of the media, power of attorney, people power. Even in the church, we talk about the power of prayer. We talk about the power of the laity. And all of those suggest power is really important to us.

And the opposite of that—being powerless—is a condition that nobody wants to be in. Powerlessness is one of the things that we run from. One writer says this: "The feeling of having no power over people and events is generally unbearable to us. When we feel helpless, we feel miserable. No one wants less power. Everyone wants more."

Now, some Christians hearing that have been like, "Yeah, you know, power in and of itself must be evil." And I'm not sure that that's necessarily true. Power is simply the ability to get things done in a lot of cases. The ability to make things happen. And Jesus even in this passage here from the gospels doesn't say, "Hey, power is evil. Run away from it." Rather, he shows us that there is a power paradox that defines the kingdom of God. I want to think about that power paradox.

Now I want to say this and I want you to hear this: I really empathize with those who have been hurt and have seen how the church has misused power and abused power and done great damage in the lives of people. A lot of people today who have named themselves as Christians for years are trying to find: How do we get back to a more pure expression of what this whole Jesus movement is supposed to be about? Where did we lose the way?

There's a lot of sense that the American church has had this love affair with power, and in that sense, that can't be right. And especially that's true with regard to gender. The stories that have come out in the last couple of years about pastors abusing their authority, particularly with women. The stories that have come out about comments made by church leaders that debase and dehumanize women are inexcusable. The way that scripture has been used to keep women in abusive marriages. The way that church government has been used to cover for men in power.

You've heard these. Me Too. Church Too. Anglican Too. PCA Too. SBC Too.

For those of you who have friends who are done with the church, I just want to say, I really get it. I don't know what it's like to be a woman. But I do know what it's like to be a representative of the church. And as somebody whose job is formally fused with the institution of the church, it has been hard for me to get out of bed many times over the last two years because the story is coming out of the church. Because the church, of course, can be an arena for power—for people who go into ministry drawn because of the influence they can have, the platform, opportunities to possess power. The church is always an institution that can be manipulated and abused, and if you're on the receiving end of some of that, I just want to say—as maybe the only time you'll hear this from a representative of the church—I'm sorry. That's wrong.

Shepherds taking advantage of scriptures like Hebrews 13—

Obey your leaders and submit to those in authority — Hebrews 13

—and therefore saying things like, "I'm the elder, you can't question me. This is the way it is." That's why.

But the reality is that I'm not sure our professed theology around gender is actually the key to fixing this, because we've seen abuses equally in egalitarian churches. Most famously, Bill Hybels at Willow Creek Church—one of the most famous churches in the country, with a very strong egalitarian philosophy of ministry and work staff—and yet the same thing: abuse of power. And it just tells me that the problem of our institutions is not power. The answer to this is not getting rid of it. It's not anarchy. Nor is it to de-church, nor is it to run away to a church that seems to have no formal authority structure. I get why people are into that.

Let me cite Shakespeare—this is about the only time I'm going to do this. Cassius from Julius Caesar: "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." It's not in our institutions. It's not in the gospel. It's not in scripture. Even the institution of the church, should it continue to exist—don't get rid of those. The problem is in here. It's in here. The problem is the lack of accountability structures around the human heart.

Two Points for This Morning

Here's my first point: I think that we need to recapture this. Accountability is greater than anarchy. The goal is not to get rid of power or say churches shouldn't have authority structures or that you can have some kind of amoeba in the church—that's not a church structure that functions. But neither is it one guy driving the bus and everybody riding in the back. The problem is the failure of the church to steward authority, to hold accountability. And I'm saying this even for me. This is why we're part of a denomination. I love being part of a denomination where I have to submit to other people. That's really important. Accountability is greater than anarchy.

Second, what we need is to reclaim the power paradox that's throughout the New Testament that defines the kingdom of God. The writer I'm borrowing a lot from in this sermon is Michelle Lee Barnwell and her book Neither Egalitarian nor Complementarian, and this is her word for it: the great reversal. Tim Keller called it the upside down kingdom.

What is the power paradox that I'm talking about? Jesus shows us this. What is Jesus like? Jesus came to us as one who serves. He didn't come among us as a benefactor who demands that we submit to him. He could have commanded, and yet he came as one who served. He could have ordered, and yet he took orders. He could have demanded, but he came to wash feet. We see this downward progression with Jesus. This is what Philippians describes for us here in Philippians 2. This is probably one of the most important passages of all the New Testament. This is like the heartbeat of the New Testament—what our Savior is like. He steps into human likeness, becomes low, empties himself, and goes to the cross. This is downward progression. And this power paradox is a major theme of scripture.

If you read your Old Testament, you'll find story after story after story. You have Gideon, who's a judge, and he brings an army together. God calls him to lead this army and says, "Here's your people," and Gideon musters the troops. God says, "Oh, you have way too many." And he famously shaves that down significantly. Then God says, "You still have too many." And God again calls him to shave down his army to just a few hundred. This power paradox is seen over and over. David—little David, who is the youngest of the sons—and yet he's the one who's anointed. He comes and visits his brothers who are in camp fighting the Philistines.

There's a great Goliath on the other side and David volunteers to serve as the champion for Israel. He tries to put on Saul's armor, but it doesn't fit. He goes out to the creek and gets stones—because that's what he knows how to do. He takes his sling and his stones to go fight Goliath.

The Power Paradox

This is the power paradox. It's upside down. This is all over the New Testament. Jesus says, the last will be first and the first will be last. The widow's might is a greater gift than all the gifts of the rich people. God sends women to the tomb to declare to the disciples that Jesus has resurrected. The book of Acts could be summarized as Holy Spirit versus Roman Empire. And the Holy Spirit wins every time.

In First and Second Corinthians, this is a great theme. The weaker strong. Jews look for signs. Greeks look for wisdom. We preach Jesus—foolishness, a stumbling block. The foolishness of God is wiser than mankind. The weakness of God is stronger than mankind. God chose the foolish things, the weak things of the world to shame the wise. The insignificant things. This is a power paradox. This is how God works. This is who our God is.

Servant Leadership Reconsidered

From this picture of Jesus that we just read, we get a phrase that complementarians use a lot: servant leadership. We have to ask the question though—if we're going to use that phrase, what does that mean? Do we mean what Jesus means by that? What Scripture means by that?

This is how we use it in the church. We say leadership is the main thing. Servant is a modifier that defines leadership. Servant is the how—how it looks. Servant modifies leadership. Authority is exercised with a servant heart. That's how we use it. But we really need to sit with that for a moment. Is that what we see in Philippians 2? Is it just Jesus leading with a servant heart?

When the disciples come to him in the passage from Mark 10, there's this debate—this spitting contest between who's the greatest. Jesus doesn't say to them, "If anyone wants to be great, lead like a servant." No, he says, "Become a servant."

In first century Greco-Roman society, it operated like a hierarchy, like a ladder. At the top you had leaders, at the bottom you had slaves, and everybody else was in the middle. The way you got power in Roman society was attaching yourself to somebody who was up the hierarchy above you. That was the whole point of trying to get up. It was a very static society. It was hard to move up that ladder. And then along comes Jesus and says this: the people at the top are actually at the bottom, and the people at the bottom are actually at the top. People are like, "What are you talking about Jesus?" This is why it's a paradox. It doesn't make sense.

When Jesus says, "The one who wants to be great among you must be servant," we have to be careful. We're not domesticating that word too much. You know what domestication is for an animal? It's where you take it and you tame it. I think we do this with our Bible all the time. We tame our Bible. We make it a little bit more palatable.

When Jesus says, "If you want to be great, you must become the slave of all," the word there is slave. A lot of translations soften that around to bond servant or servant, but the word there is slave. I wonder how many people are like, "I would really love to be in leadership in the church if the definition of this was slave of the church." But do you hear how different that lands than servant leadership? Do you hear how remarkable that is? This is how Paul describes Jesus in Philippians 2:7. Jesus became a slave.

The greatest demonstration of the power paradox, of course, is the cross. Again, we domesticate the cross. We sanitize the cross because it's hard to look at the cross.

Crucifixion was invented by the Persians, and in the centuries leading up to the time of Jesus, it was perfected by the Romans. It was meant to deliver the utmost shame on its victims. It was meant to heap shame. When you see depictions of the cross, you see Jesus wearing a loin cloth—which is meant to dress this up so we can look at it. But Scripture shows us they took his underwear and divided it. That's what the soldiers did. Jesus was naked. He was shamed to death on the cross.

This is the shock of the cross. This is the shock, the scandal, the power paradox of the cross. And we want to remove that. Just like we want to remove slave, make it servant. Think about how we get this so wrong. You remember the movie Aladdin? You may remember the character Jafar? Jafar is supposed to be the royal advisor to the Sultan.

He was in a servant position, but what does he want? Power. He wants to be the Sultan. And that's how the whole story kind of unravels as Jafar forgets who he is and grasps for power. That's just like Christian leaders who forget—this is the model. Slave, not Sultan.

So look, if we're going to use this word "servant leader" in our church, in our homes, if we're gonna talk about authority and leadership, we've got to reclaim this power paradox. We've got to reclaim this: servanthood has greater power than power itself.

The Three Questions

A couple of questions I want to ask you to consider. If our desire and understanding of leadership includes social lowering, debasement, reversal, and paradox—do our structures in our churches, in our homes, in our Christian institutions give glory to God or to people?

Second, if servant leadership is defined as sacrificial, we need to ask: what's being sacrificed? What's being laid at the foot of the cross for the sake of other people?

Third, there's another word that comes up in conversations around gender, particularly in the church: equality. Both complementarians and egalitarians believe in equality. They believe we are all the same before God. We're all equally made in God's image. But equality is an ideal—it's a special focus for egalitarians. I want us to consider that word too, because equality is not actually a major focus of the Bible. That may sound really weird for me to say, but it's true. It's important, but it's just not a main point.

This passage from Philippians 2 is the only place in all of the Bible where the word equality shows up. It's the only place that this appears. And Paul actually speaks here of Jesus not seeking equality, not pursuing that.

Unity Greater Than Equality

Now, we live in a time where we are looking for parity and equality in everything, all the time. And that's good, right? That's a corrective to a lot of the abuses of our past. But there is a better. There is something more beautiful, more compelling, more important, and more valuable to God than even equality—as good as that is.

The concept of equality as an ideal of our culture comes not from the Bible but from the Enlightenment. The Enlightenment was a thought movement coming out of Europe in the eighteenth century that was behind the French Revolution and the American Revolution. And our ideals that are written into our Declaration of Independence and Constitution—knowledge, freedom, equality, and happiness—those come from the Enlightenment. And they're good, but the Bible is showing us there's a better. There's something greater than that. It's unity. Unity is greater than equality.

Sometimes people will hold up Galatians 3 and say, "This is the model for the church. This is what's really important. This is the proof text for equality as a main tenant of the Bible."

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, neither male nor female. You are all one in Christ Jesus. — Galatians 3

But if you listen to that closely, Paul doesn't say you're all equal in Christ Jesus. He says you're all one. Oneness is really, really important, and it has very different ramifications.

Here's why unity is greater than equality: Equality speaks of individual benefits and rights, which are good. Unity speaks of God's act of taking a group of people who are divided and uniting us, making us one, making us into a spiritual family. Equality focuses on my rights. Unity speaks of a new family. And only in America are we so focused on the individual. But it's not the obtaining of rights—it's the letting go of rights, relinquishing for the sake of others.

Unity and Love

Unity is so closely related to love, and I want you to see this. If you read your Bible, over and over you'll notice in the New Testament this connection that's made between unity and love.

For example, in 1 Corinthians 12, Paul waxes eloquent on how we're a body with many gifts and many parts. And then he goes from 1 Corinthians 12 to 1 Corinthians 13, which is the great love chapter. He does the same thing in Romans 12—he talks about the body being many parts and then goes straight from that to talking about love.

In Colossians 3, he says there's a renewal that God is building, a unity in which there's no distinction between Jew and Greek, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, and free. Christ is all in all. And then he goes straight from that to: put on love. This is the only way this is going to work. If you put on love for one another.

Ephesians 4 tells us there's one body and one spirit just as you're called in one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism. But with all these things, bear with one another in love.

See, quality is good. Unity is better. God is calling us as his new covenant people to a different way, and this is my hope. This is my heart for our church. And if we can't get this, you know, this is so vital for us. We're stepping into such a hard time as a church. A hard time to be the body of Christ. And that's good for us. But it's going to require a new courage. And it's going to require us to find a third way between these polar opposites. Everybody's living in the poles right now. We got to find the Equator somewhere. And I think it's centered around Philippians chapter 2. It's the most important passage. I feel so weak preaching this morning. I'm just stuttering to catch up with the beauty that's held out for us. And this is what we need.

The battle between the sexes—it finds a lot of similarities to the disciples coming to Jesus and saying, "Who's the greatest?" Jesus is like, "I'm just not going to get involved in that. I got something better for you than this. I've got something so much better for you than this."

Fred Rogers and Servant Leadership

You know, Fred Rogers is familiar to many of you, and I've seen a couple of posts even from people in the congregation. He's like our American saint from the twentieth century. This is what sainthood looks like. He's known for Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, which was on PBS from 1968 through 2001 or 2002. But most famously, in 1997, Fred Rogers received the Academy Lifetime Achievement Award and gave what's maybe one of the most famous acceptance speeches in the history of the Academy.

"Think of the people who have helped you become who you are, those who have cared about you and wanted what was best for you in life. You know, they're the kind of people television does well to offer our world. Special thanks to my family and friends and to my coworkers in public broadcasting, family communications, and this academy for encouraging me, allowing me all these years to be your neighbor."

I show that to you because that is a Philippians 2 moment. It's one of those rare moments in our culture when someone says, "Other people served, other people loved. This is why I'm here." If I can give you homework, it would be to do the same thing—to spend time and give thanks and even express to people who've served and loved to make you who you are. But we can do even better.

The New Command

The night that Jesus was betrayed, he began the meal by washing his disciples' feet. There are two really interesting things that are said about that act in John 13. One is that he showed them the full extent of his love, and second, that he gave them a new command.

"A new command I give you: love one another." — John 13

If you're a student of the Bible, you're like, "Love one another? That's all over my Bible. That's not new." Didn't Jesus say love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself? This is all over our Old Testament scriptures. So what's the newness about this?

It's this: nobody had ever in human history seen before this extent of love. The way he loved. The one who had ultimate authority, the one who had the right to command, control, and punish, he opens his hands and lets it all go. The hands that were pinioned to the cross, that were nailed to the cross beam, were nailed open. Jesus relinquished everything for us. He came and voluntarily renounced all that was his. And even in his resurrection, his great commission, he says, "All this authority that I have—that I'm letting go for you—I'm now giving it to you. I'm just giving it away."

This overflowing, other-serving, relinquishment, this beautifying love of Jesus for us. Isn't that what we want the watching world to see? I mean, aren't we tired of anarchy and power and everybody wanting what's theirs? The last thing our culture needs is another church that shows off the same thing. What don't we want people to see? We want people to see: "Hey, we have a church that's accountable, servant, unity, love. That's what we're about."

So let me summarize this way, in case you don't get it yet. What the gospel has to say about men and women and their relationships? Here it is: Jesus demonstrated his character, grace, and love by the power paradox.

Lowering himself for the sake of others. Let's do the same. Every other pathway leads to folly and conflict.

Let's pray together.

Father, we thank you that you came among us as one who served. Lord, we pray for grace to do the same. Pray that our church would reflect to a watching world something of Jesus and reclaim this power paradox and the beauty of what it means to be your gendered image bearers who seek Lord, your glory and one another's good above our own. We pray this in Christ's name. Amen.

We're going to respond to God's word and sing.